Cornerstone principles

Dec 20, 2023 | Private Coaching

Follow these three principles to help develop a philosophy that will make your kids as proud of you as you are of them.

How did your parents live their lives after you left home? Did they stay engaged or put their feet up? Were they organised or chaotic? Will they – or did they – leave you with a mess to clear up when they died?

Will you follow their lead or rebel?

My father was a soldier, and it was undoubtedly an exhausting and dangerous career spanning WW2 and many other conflicts and commands, so maybe it’s not surprising that when Dad retired, my parents viewed this as a time to put their feet up rather than change the world any more.

And in spite of military practicality, Dad’s last few years of life were difficult. Money, residential care, wills, their house and their friends had all been left to chance, leaving my brothers and I with years of worry and and a fraught time after Dad died.

I rebelled. Here are three things I learnt in doing so.

Tip 1: Plan your life and death

Living life to the full for as long as I can and making sure my son knows what’s planned and has as little to do as possible when I die are paramount considerations.

Take an hour or so over the holidays to reflect on your aspirations for your life as an empty nester. Also, ask yourself what will happen if you need long-term care or you die tomorrow.

Tip 2: Develop financial maturity

Money is important, as I discovered to my cost many years ago. Money makes the world go round, but if it becomes the centre of your universe, it becomes dangerous.

Change your mindset, if necessary, to one in which money becomes a means to an end, not an end in itself. Work out your goals and aspirations first, then structure your finances to support those goals. Do not spend all your time and energy obtaining more when enough will do.

Tip 3: Make a difference

Finding a new role, purpose, and meaning in your life after the kids leave home can be difficult. You will find life becomes more meaningful if you focus on making a difference to others, not yourself.

Look for opportunities where you can use your skills and strengths to make a difference to others in your work, profession, community or by volunteering. You will be amazed at the impact you can have on others and the sense of fulfilment and purpose you will get from doing so.

Principles to make your kids proud

So, these philosophies and principles have moulded my business: planning for life and death, money maturity and making a difference. Get to grips with these, and your children will be as proud of you as you are of them.

And coaching will certainly help. Find out more and register now for an Empty Nest Navigator with the link below. There is no commitment, and you don’t have to make a decision until after the holidays.

My name is Jeremy Deedes, and I support parents whose children have left home to re-organise their lives and money so that they grow their wealth, make a difference and live with purpose, grace and style.

The Empty Nest Navigator is a single session and ongoing support to help you get started. Find out more at jeremydeedes.com/navigator/ or register your interest now to take part in one of twelve navigator sessions between 9 and 18 January 2024.

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What do you think?

Your views are important, and your fellow readers would love to hear your opinion, so share your thoughts in the comments box below, and thank you for your time and generosity.

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